Chapter 14. Family.
I will give you thanks with all my heart; I will sing your praise before the heavenly beings. Psalm 138:1.
Quotes:
Exodus 20:12. Honor your father and your mother so that you may have a long life in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.
Genesis 4:8. Cain said to his brother Abel, let's go out to the field. And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. Then the Lord said to Cain, where is your brother Abel? I don't know, he replied. Am I my brother's guardian?
Genesis 20 5:24. When her time came to give birth, there were indeed twins in her womb. The first one came out reddish, covered with hair like a fur coat, and they named him Esau. After this, his brother came out grasping Esau's heel with his hand. So he was named Jacob.
Genesis 30 7:3. Now Israel loved Joseph more than his other sons because Joseph was a son born to him in his old age, and he made a robe of many colors for him. When his brother saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not bring themselves to speak peaceably to him.
Second Samuel 18:33. The King was deeply moved and went up to the gate chamber and wept. As he walked, he cried, "my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you, Absalom, my son, my son!"
Proverbs 6:19 (six things the Lord hates...) one who stirs up trouble among brothers.
Proverbs 17:25. A foolish son is grief to his father and bitterness to the one who bore him.
Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. Carrie Fisher.
Review of Last Week:
Expectations.
Any surprises in your “things I used to take for granted” list?
Discussion This Week:
What are some childish beliefs that sometimes persist and make adults unhappy?
To be taken care of rather than to care for. Chronic complaining. You should be able to read my mind, you should know what I want. Desire for unconditional love. I want it NOW. Ingratitude. Everyone is (or at least should be) fascinated by my feelings. I don’t want to. Blaming others, excuses, “it spilled.” Temper tantrums. Find Paul quote. ICor 13:11. Jealousy. I’m better than you.
What childlike attitudes should be kept?
Wonder, enthusiasm, energy, curiosity, flexibility, play. Jesus, Matt 18?
What are some missing tiles, dashed expectations, comparisons, images from family?
Absent father. Unloving mother. Everyone else has loving family. Ours is dysfunctional.
What do I do today about these things?
Many are in past and there’s nothing TO be done! Missing tiles: identify, get, forget, or replace. Many men: replace father. Mentors, other older men, related or not; friends; raise your kids better; of course God and Jesus. Remember that Dad was never meant to be everything; artifact of our culture. Expectations: remember they are often destructive, express gratitude for what you have. Images, remember they are fictions often, use the mind.
Assignment:
1. Gratitude Journal, Quiet in life (continue). Pray for awareness. Be active! Get Light! Proverbs. Conversion story, continue it.
2. Think about what is missing in your family background: parents, siblings, children. Pray, journal about whether these are missing tiles etc. Use the mind to evaluate what might be next.
3. Read Chapter 15 of Prager.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Handout for Chapter 4 of Prager
The Holy Happiness Project at Hope
Chapter 4. There is No Good Definition of Happiness
Website: http://holyhappinessproject.blogspot.com
Shout triumphantly to the Lord, all the earth. Serve the Lord with Gladness; come before Him with Joyful Songs. Ps. 100
Quotes:
For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life because of Me will find it. Matt 16:25
I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve. Albert Schweitzer.
…for they constantly forget, what you must always remember, that they [meaning humans] are animals and that whatever their bodies do affects their souls. The Screwtape Letters, C. S. Lewis
Review of Last Week:
Gratitude Journal—any new thoughts?
Silence? Any experiences to relate?
Prayers for Happiness. Let us know any experiences?
The Mind is important.
Discussion This Week:
Prager seems to be saying that we know what happiness is without needing a definition. Do you agree? What are advantages and disadvantages of working without an agreed definition?
In The Lost Virtue of Happiness, J. P. Moreland, Christian philosopher, writes that part of the reason for so much modern unhappiness is in fact a change in what we think the definition of happiness is. It has changed from “A life well lived, a life of virtue and character, a life that manifests wisdom, kindness, and goodness” to “a feeling of pleasurable satisfaction.” To Jefferson, “The pursuit of happiness” meant pursuing a good, full, and virtuous life, NOT pursuing pleasurable satisfaction. Is it possible to pursue “a feeling of pleasurable satisfaction?” Why or why not?
In Healing the Culture, Robert J. Spitzer, PhD, gives a theory of happiness based on the general definition that “happiness” means “the fulfillment of desire.” He then goes on to detail four levels of happiness based on the work of Plato, Augustine, Aquinas, and the Scriptures.
1. Sensory. Characteristics?
a. Examples
b. Duration: immediate and short
c. Crisis
2. Ego gratification. Characteristics?
a. Examples
b. Duration: short term
c. Crisis
3. Contributive, make a difference. Characteristics?
a. Examples
b. Duration: Longer term
c. Crisis
4. Desire for ultimate, perfection.
a. Examples
b. Duration: Eternal
c. Crisis?
Is there anything bad or wrong with feelings of pleasurable satisfaction, sensory pleasure, or ego gratification?
How do these alternative thoughts about defining happiness alter your thoughts about the first question?
Assignment:
1. Gratitude Journal, Quiet in life (continue). Continue to pray for awareness.
2. Start increasing your physical activity. Walk, swim, dance, stretch!
3. Read Chapter 5 of Prager.
Chapter 4. There is No Good Definition of Happiness
Website: http://holyhappinessproject.blogspot.com
Shout triumphantly to the Lord, all the earth. Serve the Lord with Gladness; come before Him with Joyful Songs. Ps. 100
Quotes:
For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life because of Me will find it. Matt 16:25
I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve. Albert Schweitzer.
…for they constantly forget, what you must always remember, that they [meaning humans] are animals and that whatever their bodies do affects their souls. The Screwtape Letters, C. S. Lewis
Review of Last Week:
Gratitude Journal—any new thoughts?
Silence? Any experiences to relate?
Prayers for Happiness. Let us know any experiences?
The Mind is important.
Discussion This Week:
Prager seems to be saying that we know what happiness is without needing a definition. Do you agree? What are advantages and disadvantages of working without an agreed definition?
In The Lost Virtue of Happiness, J. P. Moreland, Christian philosopher, writes that part of the reason for so much modern unhappiness is in fact a change in what we think the definition of happiness is. It has changed from “A life well lived, a life of virtue and character, a life that manifests wisdom, kindness, and goodness” to “a feeling of pleasurable satisfaction.” To Jefferson, “The pursuit of happiness” meant pursuing a good, full, and virtuous life, NOT pursuing pleasurable satisfaction. Is it possible to pursue “a feeling of pleasurable satisfaction?” Why or why not?
In Healing the Culture, Robert J. Spitzer, PhD, gives a theory of happiness based on the general definition that “happiness” means “the fulfillment of desire.” He then goes on to detail four levels of happiness based on the work of Plato, Augustine, Aquinas, and the Scriptures.
1. Sensory. Characteristics?
a. Examples
b. Duration: immediate and short
c. Crisis
2. Ego gratification. Characteristics?
a. Examples
b. Duration: short term
c. Crisis
3. Contributive, make a difference. Characteristics?
a. Examples
b. Duration: Longer term
c. Crisis
4. Desire for ultimate, perfection.
a. Examples
b. Duration: Eternal
c. Crisis?
Is there anything bad or wrong with feelings of pleasurable satisfaction, sensory pleasure, or ego gratification?
How do these alternative thoughts about defining happiness alter your thoughts about the first question?
Assignment:
1. Gratitude Journal, Quiet in life (continue). Continue to pray for awareness.
2. Start increasing your physical activity. Walk, swim, dance, stretch!
3. Read Chapter 5 of Prager.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Christian Happiness blog posting
Found this while preparing for class. Some good insights.
How's the gratitude journal coming? Feeling any resistance to doing it?
Here's a cool song -- Happiness is the Lord!
How's the gratitude journal coming? Feeling any resistance to doing it?
Here's a cool song -- Happiness is the Lord!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Quote of the Day
John 15:11. I have told you this [love one another] so that my joy may be complete in you and that your joy may be complete. NIV.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
First Day of Class
We met at Hope this morning for the first class. First bible verses to be added:
Isaiah 61:3 ...to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise, instead of a spirit of despair...
Psalm 118:1 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever!
Isaiah 1:18 Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord.
Start your Gratitude Journal today. Write at least five things you are grateful for each day. The more sincere you can be the better. If you need to keep it private because you feel weird or "corny" doing this exercise, then keep it private.
Some links:
Ehow's How to Keep a Gratitude Journal
A report on a large study that showed that simply keeping a gratitude journal improved health, happiness, energy, love.
A Psychology Today article with hints on gratitude journals, lists, letters
My first entries:
My wife, for helping with the class, encouraging me, her smile.
The smoked pork we prepared on the front porch (yum. Not at all Kosher though!)
Church and the enthusiastic class we are starting
A beautiful Colorado day
Life
Health
Strength and vigor
My home
My daughters
Yep. I feel better already.
NEXT WEEK: Happiness is a moral obligation. Chapter 1 of Prager book.
Isaiah 61:3 ...to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise, instead of a spirit of despair...
Psalm 118:1 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever!
Isaiah 1:18 Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord.
Start your Gratitude Journal today. Write at least five things you are grateful for each day. The more sincere you can be the better. If you need to keep it private because you feel weird or "corny" doing this exercise, then keep it private.
Some links:
Ehow's How to Keep a Gratitude Journal
A report on a large study that showed that simply keeping a gratitude journal improved health, happiness, energy, love.
A Psychology Today article with hints on gratitude journals, lists, letters
My first entries:
My wife, for helping with the class, encouraging me, her smile.
The smoked pork we prepared on the front porch (yum. Not at all Kosher though!)
Church and the enthusiastic class we are starting
A beautiful Colorado day
Life
Health
Strength and vigor
My home
My daughters
Yep. I feel better already.
NEXT WEEK: Happiness is a moral obligation. Chapter 1 of Prager book.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Video on Happiness
Here is a short, five minute video on "Happiness is a Moral Obligation". I commend it to you.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
The Four Levels of Happiness
Robert J. Spitzer, PhD (in philosophy and physics no less) has formulated a theory of happiness that I have found quite useful. He explicates it thoroughly in his excellent book, "Healing the Culture." His group also has a website.
The four levels:
I. Sensory gratification. Ice cream, sex, comfort, Rich Corinthian Leather, etc. Short lived, intense, immediate, unambiguous, self-centered. A good PART of a complete human. Has a crisis if this is where you live all the time: intense feelings of emptiness.
II. Ego happiness. Also predominantly about self, self advancement, winning, gaining advantage. Provides energy to do better, to "run the race well", but is short term, does not last. Crisis if you stay here: bitterness, jealousy, contempt, isolation, paranoia. Note that level II is our natural set-point, the place we settle on if we do not actively manage ourselves.
III. Good beyond your self. Justice, love, community, service to others, greater good. Longer term than I or II, requires some effort and training to come to realize the depth of joy attainable here. But there is even a crisis here! Doing good, justice is wonderful but it will always fall short of perfection. Your capacity to do these acts of service also inevitably falls away with age or sickness.
IV. Ultimate, perfect good. We are born and wired with a desire for perfection in love, goodness, justice. That is not reachable on earth. For believers, faith in God provides level IV happiness, seeking Him.
Read the article!
The four levels:
I. Sensory gratification. Ice cream, sex, comfort, Rich Corinthian Leather, etc. Short lived, intense, immediate, unambiguous, self-centered. A good PART of a complete human. Has a crisis if this is where you live all the time: intense feelings of emptiness.
II. Ego happiness. Also predominantly about self, self advancement, winning, gaining advantage. Provides energy to do better, to "run the race well", but is short term, does not last. Crisis if you stay here: bitterness, jealousy, contempt, isolation, paranoia. Note that level II is our natural set-point, the place we settle on if we do not actively manage ourselves.
III. Good beyond your self. Justice, love, community, service to others, greater good. Longer term than I or II, requires some effort and training to come to realize the depth of joy attainable here. But there is even a crisis here! Doing good, justice is wonderful but it will always fall short of perfection. Your capacity to do these acts of service also inevitably falls away with age or sickness.
IV. Ultimate, perfect good. We are born and wired with a desire for perfection in love, goodness, justice. That is not reachable on earth. For believers, faith in God provides level IV happiness, seeking Him.
Read the article!
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