Family as a barrier to happiness

Chapter 14. Family.

I will give you thanks with all my heart; I will sing your praise before the heavenly beings. Psalm 138:1.

Quotes:
Exodus 20:12. Honor your father and your mother so that you may have a long life in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

Genesis 4:8. Cain said to his brother Abel, let's go out to the field. And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. Then the Lord said to Cain, where is your brother Abel? I don't know, he replied. Am I my brother's guardian?

Genesis 20 5:24. When her time came to give birth, there were indeed twins in her womb. The first one came out reddish, covered with hair like a fur coat, and they named him Esau. After this, his brother came out grasping Esau's heel with his hand. So he was named Jacob.

Genesis 30 7:3. Now Israel loved Joseph more than his other sons because Joseph was a son born to him in his old age, and he made a robe of many colors for him. When his brother saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not bring themselves to speak peaceably to him.

Second Samuel 18:33. The King was deeply moved and went up to the gate chamber and wept. As he walked, he cried, "my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you, Absalom, my son, my son!"

Proverbs 6:19 (six things the Lord hates...) one who stirs up trouble among brothers.

Proverbs 17:25. A foolish son is grief to his father and bitterness to the one who bore him.

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. Carrie Fisher.

Review of Last Week:
Expectations.
Any surprises in your “things I used to take for granted” list?

Discussion This Week:
What are some childish beliefs that sometimes persist and make adults unhappy?
To be taken care of rather than to care for. Chronic complaining. You should be able to read my mind, you should know what I want. Desire for unconditional love. I want it NOW. Ingratitude. Everyone is (or at least should be) fascinated by my feelings. I don’t want to. Blaming others, excuses, “it spilled.” Temper tantrums. Find Paul quote. ICor 13:11. Jealousy. I’m better than you.

What childlike attitudes should be kept?
Wonder, enthusiasm, energy, curiosity, flexibility, play. Jesus, Matt 18?

What are some missing tiles, dashed expectations, comparisons, images from family?
Absent father. Unloving mother. Everyone else has loving family. Ours is dysfunctional.

What do I do today about these things?
Many are in past and there’s nothing TO be done! Missing tiles: identify, get, forget, or replace. Many men: replace father. Mentors, other older men, related or not; friends; raise your kids better; of course God and Jesus. Remember that Dad was never meant to be everything; artifact of our culture. Expectations: remember they are often destructive, express gratitude for what you have. Images, remember they are fictions often, use the mind.
Assignment:
1. Gratitude Journal, Quiet in life (continue). Pray for awareness. Be active! Get Light! Proverbs. Conversion story, continue it.
2. Think about what is missing in your family background: parents, siblings, children. Pray, journal about whether these are missing tiles etc. Use the mind to evaluate what might be next.
3. Read Chapter 15 of Prager.